Post by CWD Staff on Jun 12, 2018 0:59:45 GMT -8
THE FOLLOWING WAS SUBMITTED TO CWD HEADQUARTERS VIA VHS TAPE...
"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup."
”I bet you weren’t expecting that, huh?”
The distorted voice is now familiar to the viewers; the real-time voice-over is always paired with the CWD’s resident Amoral Asian, Hide “Deathwish” Yamazaki.
”Or maybe you were, I dunno. You marks want to so badly be a part of our world that you’ll feign the ‘knowledge’ you actually lack. You probably even have theories as to who the man behind the voice is. You people really love ruining surprises for everyone else. That’s why most wrestlers hate you and have to pretend they care publicly and on social media.”
Throughout the diatribe, Hide gradually gets more and more on edge and impatient. By the end of it, he growls something in Japanese that you could just imagine would be something along the lines of “OH, COME ON NOW!!” The voice chuckles sinisterly.
”All right, all right, moving on. So. Two weeks ago, we finally reared our beautiful heads. Oh yeah. I was there. I was there when Yamazaki sent Jonny Hollywood to intensive care. Don’t believe me? When’s the last time you saw Jonnny Hollywood? Yeah. That’s right.”
Hide holds up a Page of Cups card. This was not one of the tarot cards issues to most of the members of the CWD, including owner Ethan Roerich. Page cards are the lowest in the minor arcana hierarchy.
He slowly tears the card in half, quickly tossing the halves aside.
”And two weeks ago, we took down not one, but two men, Team A.T.A.R.I. The action was so gruesome that the viewers at home missed out, but the fans in attendance… oh, the fans in attendance got to see the whole ugly ordeal. Sure, those masked monkeys put up a valiant effort, but come on. Come on. This is Hide ‘Deathwish’ Yamazaki we’re talking about! The more the odds are stacked against him, the stronger he gets! The more the adrenaline pumps, the more intense his bloodlust becomes!”
Hide holds up the Fool card from before. The Fool is the lowest in the major arcana hierarchy.
He slowly tears that card in much the same way as the one before.
”And this week, we have…”
Hide holds up another major arcana card: Judgement. This card was left hammered recklessly into the dressing room door of...
”Hey, I didn’t give you the cue to bring that card up yet! Dammit…”
The voice sighs, as Hide examines the card before slowly lowering his arm.
”Well, it’s too late now! Ugh, anyway, it’s Talia Areano.”
Hide’s ears perk up at the sound of his next opponent’s name, and he begins to raise the Judgement card back up into view.
”Not yet!!!”
Hide jerks his arm back down, pretending to casually look around as he strokes his chains with his free hand.
”Ms. Areano, you too managed to walk away from round one of the Hollywood Honours Cup, making short work of a normally high-impact player in Bishop Kroft. You were mismatched in height and weight, but proved that once again, experience is king… or I guess queen in your case. Good job! Congratulations! And your reward for such an impressive victory is..”
Hide once more shows off the Judgement card, quietly chuckling to himself.
”I said- ohh, fuck it! Ms. Areano, your card was Judgement. Don’t flatter yourself, though: while upright, this card represents decision making, transition, renewal, redemption, awakening, and reincarnation, things I’m sure you could associate with various aspects of your personal, public and professional life… Yamazaki…”
Hide turns the card upside-down, much like he did last week with Team A.T.A.R.I.’s Fool card.
”This way, it represents stagnation, self-doubt, poor logic, and poor or hasty judgement.
Let’s break it down, though: the other way, it’s basically telling you you’re good at making those tough decisions, so long as those decisions were thought out and beneficial for you. Transitions may refer to many things: your arrival in the California Wrestling Division, your ability to adapt to opponents where your high-flying style requires supplement, whatever. Renewal could refer to perhaps some ingrained doubt in yourself and/or your abilities, and after 10 years in this industry, you’re ready to fully bloom. Redemption follows renewal, obviously. Hell, redemption might be something you feel after your encounter with ‘Deathwish’ Yamazaki. You’ll see what I mean after your match. Anyway, awakening… awakening… hmm. That might be something associated with what happens after you stir from your coma. And finally, reincarnation. Well, just hope you come back as something less susceptible to blunt force trauma.”
Hide clenches the card between his teeth, then wraps his chain around his fist and pounds it into his other hand.
”I’m just sayin’. Anyway, going the other way, stagnation. Is this why you entered a tournament where there was any chance at all that you may come across this little bundle of joy before you? Like previously stated, you felt your career needed a booster shot, no matter the cost? Well, the cost might be your well-being in the long run. This resulted in you formulating some highly illogical hypotheses. If this whole thing wasn’t the epitome of poor or hasty judgement, I don’t know what is. Hold the card properly, damn you!!”
Hide abruptly tosses his chains to the ground and once more holds the card upside-down.
”Ultimately, we’re not in charge of your future, Ms. Areano, you are. You decide where you work, how much you work, whether you even show up for work, and while the smart thing would be for you to call in sick this week, hey, we’re not stupid. We know full well that’s not an option for a 10-year veteran of the sport. For a lady who has everything to prove and also everything to lose. If there’s even a half a percent chance that you can somehow vanquish this living breathing mass of mayhem, you’ll take it. You won’t give up. You’ll never say die.”
Hide chomps down on the card again as he slowly runs a thumb across his throat.
”But that’s okay, Ms. Areano, because that’s our job.
Die.
Die.
Die, Ms. Areano, die, so that we may thrive. Die so that we achieve our destiny. Oh, not winning this stupid little tournament - if that happens, that’s just the icing on the cake, but cake without icing is still delicious - no, our destiny is laying each and every able-bodied man and woman in the back… OUT. Exerting a power morality on this fake plastic repulsive disgusting Hollywood-obsessed mental institution called the CWD.
Die so that you don’t have to live in the world we’re going to undo.
Please.”
Hide holds the Judgement card upright, points at it, then just tosses it to the ground like the trash it must have been to him.
The feed slowly darkens, and when it goes totally black, is replaced by tv static.
"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup."
”I bet you weren’t expecting that, huh?”
The distorted voice is now familiar to the viewers; the real-time voice-over is always paired with the CWD’s resident Amoral Asian, Hide “Deathwish” Yamazaki.
”Or maybe you were, I dunno. You marks want to so badly be a part of our world that you’ll feign the ‘knowledge’ you actually lack. You probably even have theories as to who the man behind the voice is. You people really love ruining surprises for everyone else. That’s why most wrestlers hate you and have to pretend they care publicly and on social media.”
Throughout the diatribe, Hide gradually gets more and more on edge and impatient. By the end of it, he growls something in Japanese that you could just imagine would be something along the lines of “OH, COME ON NOW!!” The voice chuckles sinisterly.
”All right, all right, moving on. So. Two weeks ago, we finally reared our beautiful heads. Oh yeah. I was there. I was there when Yamazaki sent Jonny Hollywood to intensive care. Don’t believe me? When’s the last time you saw Jonnny Hollywood? Yeah. That’s right.”
Hide holds up a Page of Cups card. This was not one of the tarot cards issues to most of the members of the CWD, including owner Ethan Roerich. Page cards are the lowest in the minor arcana hierarchy.
He slowly tears the card in half, quickly tossing the halves aside.
”And two weeks ago, we took down not one, but two men, Team A.T.A.R.I. The action was so gruesome that the viewers at home missed out, but the fans in attendance… oh, the fans in attendance got to see the whole ugly ordeal. Sure, those masked monkeys put up a valiant effort, but come on. Come on. This is Hide ‘Deathwish’ Yamazaki we’re talking about! The more the odds are stacked against him, the stronger he gets! The more the adrenaline pumps, the more intense his bloodlust becomes!”
Hide holds up the Fool card from before. The Fool is the lowest in the major arcana hierarchy.
He slowly tears that card in much the same way as the one before.
”And this week, we have…”
Hide holds up another major arcana card: Judgement. This card was left hammered recklessly into the dressing room door of...
”Hey, I didn’t give you the cue to bring that card up yet! Dammit…”
The voice sighs, as Hide examines the card before slowly lowering his arm.
”Well, it’s too late now! Ugh, anyway, it’s Talia Areano.”
Hide’s ears perk up at the sound of his next opponent’s name, and he begins to raise the Judgement card back up into view.
”Not yet!!!”
Hide jerks his arm back down, pretending to casually look around as he strokes his chains with his free hand.
”Ms. Areano, you too managed to walk away from round one of the Hollywood Honours Cup, making short work of a normally high-impact player in Bishop Kroft. You were mismatched in height and weight, but proved that once again, experience is king… or I guess queen in your case. Good job! Congratulations! And your reward for such an impressive victory is..”
Hide once more shows off the Judgement card, quietly chuckling to himself.
”I said- ohh, fuck it! Ms. Areano, your card was Judgement. Don’t flatter yourself, though: while upright, this card represents decision making, transition, renewal, redemption, awakening, and reincarnation, things I’m sure you could associate with various aspects of your personal, public and professional life… Yamazaki…”
Hide turns the card upside-down, much like he did last week with Team A.T.A.R.I.’s Fool card.
”This way, it represents stagnation, self-doubt, poor logic, and poor or hasty judgement.
Let’s break it down, though: the other way, it’s basically telling you you’re good at making those tough decisions, so long as those decisions were thought out and beneficial for you. Transitions may refer to many things: your arrival in the California Wrestling Division, your ability to adapt to opponents where your high-flying style requires supplement, whatever. Renewal could refer to perhaps some ingrained doubt in yourself and/or your abilities, and after 10 years in this industry, you’re ready to fully bloom. Redemption follows renewal, obviously. Hell, redemption might be something you feel after your encounter with ‘Deathwish’ Yamazaki. You’ll see what I mean after your match. Anyway, awakening… awakening… hmm. That might be something associated with what happens after you stir from your coma. And finally, reincarnation. Well, just hope you come back as something less susceptible to blunt force trauma.”
Hide clenches the card between his teeth, then wraps his chain around his fist and pounds it into his other hand.
”I’m just sayin’. Anyway, going the other way, stagnation. Is this why you entered a tournament where there was any chance at all that you may come across this little bundle of joy before you? Like previously stated, you felt your career needed a booster shot, no matter the cost? Well, the cost might be your well-being in the long run. This resulted in you formulating some highly illogical hypotheses. If this whole thing wasn’t the epitome of poor or hasty judgement, I don’t know what is. Hold the card properly, damn you!!”
Hide abruptly tosses his chains to the ground and once more holds the card upside-down.
”Ultimately, we’re not in charge of your future, Ms. Areano, you are. You decide where you work, how much you work, whether you even show up for work, and while the smart thing would be for you to call in sick this week, hey, we’re not stupid. We know full well that’s not an option for a 10-year veteran of the sport. For a lady who has everything to prove and also everything to lose. If there’s even a half a percent chance that you can somehow vanquish this living breathing mass of mayhem, you’ll take it. You won’t give up. You’ll never say die.”
Hide chomps down on the card again as he slowly runs a thumb across his throat.
”But that’s okay, Ms. Areano, because that’s our job.
Die.
Die.
Die, Ms. Areano, die, so that we may thrive. Die so that we achieve our destiny. Oh, not winning this stupid little tournament - if that happens, that’s just the icing on the cake, but cake without icing is still delicious - no, our destiny is laying each and every able-bodied man and woman in the back… OUT. Exerting a power morality on this fake plastic repulsive disgusting Hollywood-obsessed mental institution called the CWD.
Die so that you don’t have to live in the world we’re going to undo.
Please.”
Hide holds the Judgement card upright, points at it, then just tosses it to the ground like the trash it must have been to him.
The feed slowly darkens, and when it goes totally black, is replaced by tv static.
